Khayalan Jumaat…..

Lari lari kakiku lari…
Titisan embun menitis pipi
Pergi tiada kembali…
Angin hembusan pagi

Nafas..adakah dikau masih berada?
Pertama kali kita bertemu disana
Rindu mengamati hatiku
Hela hela aku biarkan

Sentuhan lalang di jari manisku
Sentuhan pasir di hujung tapakku
Sinaran suam lepasi mataku

Sayu sayu jeritan kecilku
Sepi sepi dalam fikiran ku
Adakah dikau mungkin kembali
Mungkin tidak mungkin ya…

Lalu kau pulang
Bukan bersamaku…..
Bingung aja kau buatku
Serabut dibuatku…

Jejak kaki ulang kembali
Di tempat dikau bersepi
Hatiku bertaut hatimu
Harapan untuk ketemu…
Bukan tentuanku….


Inspirasi buat semata-semata…

The Road to Recovery

It has been almost a week since you left us… I had to stay at my mom’s place for recovery and during these few days, we were frantically searching for kakak/makcik urut. It was not easy as we had to ask around friends whom might have contacts.

Thank goodness Mak with her pasar friends, we found one who stays in Gombak and is affordable as well. She was available for urut session and that is the most important.

Having miscarriage thought me to be patient. It was as similar to giving birth just without the Baby…your body feels drained out, your tummy feels pain from the bleeding, your body felt like it was being beaten up and sore. Legs, arms, hips were too sore that I had to take 1 step at a time. Feet without socks make it sooo painful to even place a step. That was the pain that Mothers had to endure, and I had the chance to face it. Drinking Polleney or Chicken Essence was so tak sedap as well. I literally gag after the last drop hits my throat…

So despite all the motivation, I understand how miscarriages can be as depressing…People might advise to try again and bla bla bla…but no one would understand the pain physically and mentally a Mother who lost their child has to face…To go through the same confinements of a new Mother who gave birth yet again without the Child.

I don’t know I was lucky or whether I am naturally a strong willed lady, I bounced back to life a day after of grieving  but I still shun having people around me, I just hate entertaining the same questions all over again.

  1. How did it happen?
  2. How long were you into it? How did you find out?
  3. Are you ok? Are you fine?
  4. Is Akbar ok?

I dealt with grieve differently from normal humans I guessed, I don’t naturally cry over such things, I hate it…I hate showing my expressions. I bottled my emotions but at the same time I rather be alone…

The makcik urut did a good job in massaging all my stress points, pushed out my water retention, tried to place back the uterus coz its terjatoh…and gave me words of advice to prepare for the next pregnancy….

I also was recommended to eat this…


Manjakani was proven to tighten the vagina walls and lessen vaginal discharge, good for post delivery…Well let’s see how it goes la kan…The sengkak urut is super damn painful…I am not in favour of pain and I think most of the ladies here knew I have low tolerance masih la terpekik pekik if sakit sikit.. But it is to get well so must endure la..ketap bibir tahan sakit…But at times it was soo painful I literally felt like passing out PENGSAN…it was soo excruciatingly painful…masya allah..but definitely now I felt better and badan da rase ringan…

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Amalkan la surah nie to prevent from future miscarriages. I thank loved ones whom has supported or taken care of me. Hopefully we will try to help in different ways for friends or loved ones that are in is not an easy road masya allah..but I prayed that one day I will have rezeki and amanah to take care of..and for my fellow ladies to be strong…there will always be challenges but none will be difficult for any ummah-nye to endure.. Insya Allah…

Twins Fascination!!!!

Who doesn’t love twins!! I do….I am obsessed with twins and their cuteness and their ability to take care of one another…or their petty fights! EFVERYTHING is double combo! hahahaha…

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the fact that my momma side has a twins genetic, we have a pair of twins in every generation it is THAT BLOODY AWESOME!

So I wished to have one pair myself, sekali kluar terus tutup factory ah! Hahaha but if you have not catch “It’s Judy TIME!” Please la gy tengok, the twin sisters are super cute masya allah! I always feel like biting those cheeks

I am an obsessed wife now who wants TWINS…..sape sape ader tips ke aper ke please share ok….

Japan Honeymoon, Yeay! or Neh?

I have been contemplating should I talked about my Honeymoon experience in Tokyo, Japan or not??

I have been quite lazy lately to blog. Makin da kahwin makin pemalas keje nye eh! Lols….All i wanna do is hang out at home with husband or not just laze on my AWESOME king size katil…

I think i will blog with some tips on where to head on and what are things to look out for when I have moooooood!



Turnaround Events

This post has got nothing to do with wedding related stuff…but I just needed to pen down my thoughts on the recent events happening.

While I was away on my business trip feeling the aftermath of Japan earthquakes…and also the Paris small little heart here cannot take it much more as I had friends holidaying in Europe where Paris is one of their stops.

Through out the whole day of meeting, I was blogging on another topic to get my mind off abit but at the same time, my fingers were whatsapping non stop to ensure my family I was fine in Osaka, secondly checking on my friends whom were travelling in Europe. It was an uneasy feeling and just something keep keep ringing in my ears and heart.

FB was being sucha good newsfeeder, feeding loads of posts shared here and there…Of muslim friends explaining here this is not the work of ISLAM.. to haters of Islam….to news of fellow muslims in danger of being attacked by racists comments, racists acts where they have no clue of what is happening around them.

This is where humanity is challenged and it just stopped me in my tracks these few nights. People are condemned for just #prayforfrance where other parts of the world is being shot down, bombed and whats not. Yes there might be truth why are we just siding one country, but look it is as contradicting that you are condemning this as well, shouldn’t positive vibes be shared along the lines.

I am not a good preacher of the quran nor am I a saint. But this dying thought keeps repeating in my head, have we reached that finishing line is this where the test is completing its round, where everyone is against your religion being brainwashed to see evil in it. We forget our true being in this world, instead social media is taking its control on you. Where prayers are made via words typed out.

Shouldn’t we instead strengthen our beliefs to be prepared for worse, sedangkan zaman nabi di-uji dengan kekejaman semata-mata, but it’s just a different outlook, we are tested with situations pin-pointing it back to us. Zaman firaun dulu kan lain, just that things have changed but situation is the same.

Wallahualam, we can never be sure only YOU know it, masya allah, how scary it has been …I am not good enough to be near your Jannah, but I am sure am afraid of the fires of hell..please strengthen the iman of all muslims including myself to go through this journey of yours. To forever remember you and the very being of us in this’s my two cents worth but it has been a thinking process these few days…and a deep one…

31 Days Away~Ala Emaaak Kahwin kan AKUU

We are at 1 month notice sooon! Initially Mr.A and I wanted to pantang and not meet for a month however due to circumstances, I have a BFF wedding on 28/29 November that pantang has to wait!

Yes this is my Ahmad Aizat, guy BFF, da la BFF nak kahwin sama year and 2-3 weeks apart lak tu… but this mamat here is my most kentals Bff whom I have gone thru hardships together…..I’m happy he has met his queen to spend his rest of his life with 🙂

The fact as well when we met the first thing was, “HOW MANY BACH NITES YOU HAVE LAAAA?! 30 IS IT?” Ok chill la dude, that is why you are a guy and I am a girl…perangai siak this mamat..make so much noise for what…kentals kan…

We are such Bobo Pengantin to be…couldnt care less keep eating from heavy meals to desserts…amek kau!

For him lak, his sacrifice was he could not go honeymoon until after my wedding! Bahahaha….delayed honeymoon! sorry but well what are BFFs for right?! Countdown for us both!

Next on agenda was the dulang items, what am I giving to Mr.A;
1) Neutrogena products
2) Iron man cufflinks
3) Belt & wallet set, tie
4) Customised ring
5) Perfume
6) Shoes – haven’t buy!
7) Chocs
8) cupcakes
9) sejadah and alquran

Banyak jugak eh aku nak kasi, but well I am quite a practical girl, I do not spend anything above $100 because it is comfort and familiarity first before anything else like brands. All items are all his loved items and his choice especially comfort because this tunang here is quite particular la..tak suka tak akan pakai or touched!

So again, mama-in-law is doing all the dulangs, I am very thankful for that, Amin! She is doing my flower bouquet, dulangs for both sides and the sireh dara/junjung…My mama-in-law pampers me alot but alhamdullilah we have been on good terms. I will doa for this harmonious relationship till eternity…

31 days is not far it is supeeeer near! And from the #btbsupportgroup we have the following weddings coming up;

  1. Hasanah and Aimi on 29 Nov
  2. Eza on 5th or 6th Dec ( I cannot rmbr laaa, sorry babe!)
  3. Yours truly on 19th Dec
  4. Rina on 27th Dec which I am not able to make it tooo!

It is a supeeeeer busy few weeks for these BTBs!

But most importantly! we have a chalet coming up on 21 Nov this Saturday, to celebrate and have fun together. Thankful this group has supported each other in all sorts of ways. I may not be active as much as I am trying to catch my breath but I still read and join in the convos whenever I can!

Shall update soon laa when the weekend is over with all the fun and squeals of the girls! hehe


Sugaring~ Yea or Neh?!

Yes that is my title, writing this while listening to boring presentation slides of prostate cancer.

How apt, remembered prostate to my unforgettable Sugaring session… so what is sugaring it is of natural products (water, sugar & lemon) mix together to get a Malt-like paste which is spread across area wanted to wax.

Benefits of sugaring

So last week, I have set up appointment with Jasmine from Sugared to have my session after reading and getting feedbacks from the rest of the BTBs on how wonderful sugaring is…

Sucha lovely lady, I had whatsapped her and the response was swift and easy. I was kinda nervous with the appointment as my treshold of pain is immensely low. I have never done waxing, even with shaving I had to do it very little due to slow hair growth. So to meet the friend down there is very rare.

The day came, went over appointment after work. Her new place is super near me! Its Trivelis Clementi and this is sucha PLUS POINT!  hadta wait downstairs for awhile before I could proceed upstairs. Did the formality of Q&A, fill up the form before proceeding to the room.

The room is professionally taken care of, private and just the right temperature. By this time I was nervous, and HELL YEAH! i screamed at the first pull. My mind just went WTF! and I keep repeating why do girls even do this yourself! Beauty sure come with a hefty price tag. To those whom are virgin to waxing or sugaring or anything and naturally gets bruised easily during pinching I think we are on the same level.

Pain: 15/10 (i kid you NOT!)

Of coz different people have different levels of pain. Mine is the worse, I did not tear thank goodness…no crying at all but my reaction to every pull of the sugar, I literally screamed and curl my legs in pain. However Jasmine is really nice, she was still patient and talked to you in a calm voice and encouraged you to go on!

I have not much hair but I have very very stubborn hair, that is sooo stubborn she has to repeat sugaring on that part a couple of times. I almost wanted to give up let me tell you! But I cannot walk off the door with half of it sugared and half of it not!

So!! I gelt my 1/2 hour session was an eternity….After the feeling of sugaring, it was sore and uncomfortable coz my skin was thin…however it was also a nice feeling to feel that it was smooth and clean down there. Yes ms Vajajay you are clean!!

Jasmine did asked me if I would come again, honestly I told her let me think about it for the fact I am that 1/5 customer that has low pain tolerance, and got me shocked and in pain.

No skin tear or anything just the pain was scary. However overall service by Jasmine was:

Overall Service Standard: 4.5/5

She is really professional and very friendly. No doubt I would recommend her, ladies but just beware for those whom are weakling like me!!!

Do check out her FB! Sugared – Body Sugaring Singapore

So I have listed out the pros/cons….if you have any other Sugaring experience whether with Jasmine or with other vendor! Do share your experiences, would love to read more of the stories….

Staycays in the Month of October! ~#enamjahanams

As I am left with about 52 days away from the wedding! It is making my weekends extremely packed and weekdays extremely tired from work.

To keep me going working in the day, EDM songs have been my companion..while my mind is berjoget joget kat dalam.. my fingers are busy replying emails and drafting whats between time of drafting my itinerary, finalizing my invites and getting all the nitty gritty stuff completed.

So in this blessed October, i have been blocking my weekends for staycays planned by my wonderful gfs!

1st up was a waaay throwback session with the #enamjahanams, i call us the 6 destroyers because we are extremely noisy people!! destroyer of peace betol! Why I said so is because everytime we meet kita nye hello je da terpekik pekik! I believe we are borned with human boom mics in our throat!

17 Oct~ Ana, me, Nurrul & Dy met up for lunch because perut yang SENTIASA LAPAAR needs food to keep the day going!

Shana was waiting at lobby, whom arrived from a wedding and RINA busy siap bilik pengantin dia, main painting-painting with contour brushes.

When we came and checked in into our courtyard room! We rushed in and keep running around and screaming and selfies and photos PLUS videos…buang tebiat betol la! How jakon we can be but for me personally! I love doing that on my work trips being a crazy maniac dpt room CHANTEEEK! Sape tak suka seh….

While keeping ourselves entertained waiting for Rina yang tak sampai sampai…we decided to have our swimming pool time!!

I suck at breathing underwater thou! cam nak lemas please…so after swimming pool time! We were makeup by our Kakak ANA!!! i swear she can become MUA, she did my kening and face for everyone except for Rina….so that’s a total of 5 faces including hers within 3 hours span…touched up biasa jeee but awesome la pleaaaash! I choose a dark lippy coz she has it and i loveeee her dark lippy!

Da melawa! Mcm nak gy Atticca clubbing, hungry nak mampos! Tahan taxi and end up in Lau Pa SAT! gone were the days of wild dancing k kawan-kawan..I now kakak-kakak nak kahwin!!

Came back da tawaf 1 whole Lau Pa Sat walked for a good 15 minutes nak carik ATM! Da berpeluh-peluh…we start at the courtyard from 11 plus all the way to 4am chatting all kinds of stuff..past present and history…it was a good sharing session the fact that we are acquainted to each other for me I believe is a miracle..I would have not known them before this but actually when I do, I have a couple of common close friends that we share and this closeness formed is I believe another form of rezeki from HIM. I may not be the richest gal on the block, but I am rich in quality friendship, insya allah! Alhamdullilah…

The next was the usual breakfast and and i still can’t believe ANA in her onesie..when she 1st mentioned it, I was like wth was that? I have not known what is a onesie but she was sooo cute la pleaseeeee…

We took a short nap aft breakfast and back in the pool we went this time with agenda! torture everyone with Monkey sprayed water at each other! AND i did my ballerina performance for them underwater..sebab ader wedding with LOVE SONGS! SO a hippopotamus ballerina in ME who felt super light in water danced nonstop!!

See that amoy yg heartshaped 2…tak abis abis 1 step korean this gal…

Thank you for giving me so much fun!! sampai berendam i think in total hours was about 4 hours plus…and i have been tegur-ed by Mama in law…eh pengantin da gelap…yes Mama i is not gonna go swimming lama-lama again k!

This is a 1st for us, but thank you for doing this! Super awesome..i love lepak sessions now its equally needed before a wedding….after all the stress!

Thanks my babies!!!

Strike off my Bucket List

Aside from wedding preps…I have been relatively busy meeting up with my friends to pass Bridesmaid baju…buat activities or just lepaking which is my almost every weekend duties… It is tiring but time does not wait for you…cherishing friendships or the people I love matters most..

Some of my friends call me nuts coz I literally have no time for myself..travelling for work…traveling to meet my friends..coordinating every single thing on my own for the wedding…and juggling date time with fiancee…its hard but I guess worth it

So last few month I did mention I joined Lyanaz Bridal Plus Size Model Search. I have a reason for this because! Firstly I am a strong believer that everyone is pretty just some are lazy or clueless in looking good.. so being fat or called fat my entire life despite me being a UK 10 when I was younger I did not know what was thin.. I was slashed at called names and my nickname was Mok. It hurts alot and pulled down my confidence level damn shittiest the lowest pit ever!

But then as I grow older i was like F*** that shyt…I look back at my old photos I was a lean healthy physique! Just chubby but lean!



That was probably at the age of 19-20 i was weighing my best! 2 pun kene panggil gemok!

So I realise because of humans that are full of crap and rubbish…I do not care whether I am 90kg now or back then I knew I was looking good!

And my bucketlist before marriage was to be a model for FUN for plus size models! To empower your mind body and soul!  I got into the FINALS for Lyanaz Bridal Plus Size Model Search! And i just realise no matter what I am feeling superbly good about myself no1 else matters..If people don’t respect you! You gotta be strong to respect yourself! Aint a care in the world with those kind of criticism! They don’t owe you a living….

I thank my Kak Ezan from Lyanaz Bridal for the awesome makeup!




I can’t wait for the final photos that will require votes! But I would not be disheartened if I lost because I knew all of us are winners!

Peektures Promotion!!

To all brides that are looking for photographers..seeking quotes! or quality photography.

I have a PROMOTION ENDING 15 SEPTEMBER !!! Spread some love ladies! friends,GFs, adik, kakak, cousin cousin…mana la tahu yang akan datang kahwin nie! Tua muda…1st time, 2nd time..yg berkali-kali….JOMS!!!!

2Fly Production has worked with Chantique Bridal for shoots. Do check them out at their FB yea!