#3 Mayyah is back! 

As a mom whom has been away from her child for almost 2 months it was really hard…most things were delayed most of the times I do not even feel like I have a kid… 

Daily visits to the hospital make me kept pushing questions of when will she be discharged and what are the next plans…for a preemie Mayyah has really fought this battle well..she always miraculously pushed through the different stages…from 

1) cpap breathing to nasal canula respirator and then off respirator to breathe on your own

2) 1.2kg to daily consistent weight gain 

3) able to finally suckle a bottle slowly but surely

She was doing extremely good that the last phase was to suck/feed a bottle well. That was quite hard she could not initially coordinate the suck swallow breathe rythm..every 3 sucks causes her to breathe as if she was running a marathon! Her feeds could last 1/2 hour to just finish 25ml afterwhich the balance goes into the tube that leads directly into her tiny tummy …but as a mother I was really patient and stick to motivating her for her afternoon feeds whenever I was there…

The inlaws..my mom even Akbar was not patient in handling this and kept pushing for her to drink faster…I felt like telling them to just shut the f up seriously…you guys are not helping her to cope and do better but just adding stress to her..but I just continued to do whats best for Mayyah..

Finally on the Christmas week, I was given the option of home care basically Mayyah was allowed to be discharged! YEAAAAAY!!! however the feeding tube that goes into the nose remains intact for me to feed her via tube if she cant finish her bottle when she was discharged…

I was taught to remove the tube from her nose…and to insert a clean tube..I needed to give 3 demos back to the nurses and passed it before she can go back which was  scheduled for 3 Jan…

Most parents at this learning stage of tube insertion would become pitiful and end up being cengeng abit coz it looks so sad to insert tube in and out of your little one…most nurses says it could take a week minimum for brave confident parents up to 3 weeks for most of them coz the process really can be emotionally traumatising for some parents …

I requested to push for it coz I really wanted Mayyah to be back..it was quite scary I tell you! Putting a 32cm long tube into your little one nose to go into the tummy…whom of coz will struggle and start to whine or cry even…this is when as a parent, some would just stop and not want to proceed…

Anak kau nangis sape tak panic! Ngn buat procedure lak tu!!

But with a gungho attitude buat je…like some people say! JUST DO IT! thus with each demo the nurse said good job mummy! Suddenly I feel like changing profession lak..😅😅😅 the last demo on 3 Jan,the discharged date! the sister nurse was around but waiting for another parent to do a demo..she got another nurse to monitor me..she said I was so quick in the procedure that when she turn her head..the tube was in! And I was just pasting the skin tape on..(confident mau lebih!)

That is the best feeling Ever! that I passed with flying colours and finally!! My little one can wear home clothes….ready to go back! Going back at 36 weeks 6 days..2.5kg, after 58 days in the hospital was sucha relief…everyone whom took care of her said their farewells and for a good 5 minutes it was quite noisy in the Special Care nursery..mcm VIP baru lalu..this demok like celebrity like that! 

Gonna miss the nurses..they were so nice and friendly..loves coming over to Mayyah’s cot to see her and talk to her…and this girl would give her dreamy smile to them😍😍😍

My mom taught me always be nice to people…share and give stuff to appreciate and thank them…while I believe in sharing my rezeki no matter how small it is…when you do…you will never know what rezeki you will receive back…alhamdullilah Mayyah was loved by all during her stay in the nursery…while she has shown me that rezeki from HIM will never stop coming if you believe and is sincere…

Thank you my love for showing it to me…I hope to be a good mother to you eventhou I am quite a rough mummy..lols….💕💕

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#2 Mummy’s dilemma of breastmilk for my preemie

I was encouraged greatly to provide my breastmilk for Mayyah since the day she was borned..

I tried very very hard….and since my milk was not flowing like the golden river it should be..I had to hand expressed my milk and that ladies and gentleman gotten drops of just 0.3ml of milk! Through a syringe! Breast feeding does not seem wonderful and colourful like what other mummies described…

Be prepared your milk doesnt have to flow like a river naturally…its not the same for all Mothers..different bodies have different alerts and some are just naturally low supply like me..

After a month plus of daily pumps and my 3-4 hourly aparts..my maximum pump is 40ml.in total.and sitting through for 1 hour…its tiring I have sore neck, aching back and sometimes super pumped boobs that ache after that…

Do not nag at me about milk boosters…as if you would know..I have tried mostly everything…

☆Goats milk + date

☆Al-kurma juice

☆Lactation cookies

☆Milo

☆veggies:young papaya, spinach & loads more

☆red date/longan drink

☆fenugreek supplement + domperidone

☆Mamom pills

☆mother’s milk plus

AND ALOT MOREEEE….nothing works my max pump remains at 40ml….sometimes if im lucky it goes to 60ml because I have not pumped more than 4 hours…

However I am not giving up..I shall trial and error to all the other milk boosters to try to increase my supply…Mothers you can try all my mentioned milk boosters…you will never know which will trigger but its worth a try…some mothers have it easier than others..Alhamdullilah..

But never admit defeat…Mother’s milk no matter how little it is, it is as golden good gold for the baby….even if you are formulating and doing a 50-50…it helps! 

Mayyah has grown tremendously well..Alhamdullilah..thanks to whatever breastmilk she could get…her weight increases daily..

This girl motivates a lazy person like me to wake up at 6 plus or 7am latest to pump…and even at midnite before I could properly sleep…love for a tiny being like you! See how you grab my finger…while I was changing you..sorry you have been wearing mittens and can’t hold mummies hand….