#1 Mommy’s journey for a Preemie 

Eversince the birth of Sumayyah in my life..it has been an emotional rollercoaster ride and a physically challenged journey…

As prepared as I am caring for a baby since I have babysitted alot of nephews/nieces and cousins…I was not prepared for a preemie with a whole new route and destinations…

The first day I have gotten to see her was the third day after I have given birth before I was discharged…I couldn’t hold back my tears of joy and of sadness too because I cannot bring my baby back…I couldn’t kiss & hold her and say “Its ok baby…Mummy is here!” She has learned to be independant the moment she came out and the thought that my baby would cry and I am not there makes me felt pain and guilty…

The reason why we label Preemies as fighters and lil warriors….they have to go through some major alone time while some are fighting their lives to different issues such as not able to breathe on their own…very low birth weight..gestational problems…heart probs and many many issues associated with Preemies

Alhamdullilah Mayyah only setback was, she couldn’t breathe on her own yet 100%, needing oxygen support but at its minimal level of 21%. Not at full term when lungs are strong enough, she does forget to breathe at times coz in the womb they need not have to breath through their noses. 

Supposedly Mummy rest as much and be on pantang for 44 days or 40 at most. This is when Mummies get to really rest not to do much chores or cooking, as much as possible to eat sleep and feed their LO(lil one). As lucky that I am able to pantang at my mum’s place but I did not have the luxury.. Everyday routine is to pump my super little breastmilk for Mayyah, breakfast, pump, lunch, zohor, pack and travel to hospital, come back and pump, dinner and pump and sleep. 

I was crawling the 1st 10 days after discharge because c-section was still effing painful and my body was extremely weak. The travel to hospitals was too tiring but I had to push on..That is why I appreciate Mothers more…that strength Allah give Mummies to presevere no Man can go through…that love for your tiny human being is bigger than the love a father could give..you would literally move the world if you have to..being in the shoes of Mothers..

Everyday visit to hospital is updates from nurses I learn the hospital jargons quickly and did alot of reading on Preemies..no one will give you information as most of your friends do not have Preemies. I had to provide positive aura everytime I am around Mayyah coz they can detect the negativity and health can deteriorates faster than a speed of a bullet. Not having Akbar around most days because he was busy with work make me handle post pregnancy alone… I had to suck it in and put my emotions aside every time I visit Mayyah…doing a split 360 personality change when I enter NICU daily could probably make me win Grammy Awards of the year…

Anything for her…well she is still in NICU and is about 36 days already…I never knew when she will be out but is always praying for my baby girl to be discharged soon. 

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