My Silent Prayer….

Yesterday 18th July 2014…aku tergerak hati nak try balik solat…Yes I did mention im no angel…I am used to party drinking…entertaining clients over food and wine..coz that has been a lifestyle i adopted after much has gone wrong many many years ago….

This few years memang aku nak berubah….you know those lingering whisperings to call you back to the correct path…but there are lingering whispers as well to add on to laziness and couldnt care less attitude causin you not to do it…

This ramadhan again Ive tried..hmm 1st week nye puasa..but subhanallah liat nyeee nak solat tak pegang langsung…2nd week cuti puasa(red flag) dragged sampai 3rd week…baru nak start lik…

Hari Jumaat lak..hati cam tak sedap gi2…resah semacam…1st time bangon pack telekung gy keje…niat 2 mmg nak solat ngn my friends yg nak iftar together…so pack la skali coz plan is buka minum air…solat maghrib baru la kita makan…

Tapi ntah la nape…at work i was busy working as usual…saw the time for zohor…at first meeting rooms all booked…so when i recheck eh meeting cancel… #positivethoughts maybe its just signs..

Booked the room and continued solat zohor…kekok nye masya allah..nak carik kiblat 5 min ngn COMPASS app terpusing2…dalam 1 corner..left right..terbalik..finally i saw the direction and alas la with the cardigan for the prayer map…As i was praying took some time to focus by the 3rd rakaat I couldnt help it and tears just flowed down….sebak hati…i finished my solat and remembered to make Dua for everyone…not just myself…

That was the first after so long…I couldnt help it…When i was praying with my friends…they just did the maghrib but i told myself qadak la sekali for Asar…and continued alone…and now after human procastination of isyak! I finally did it…almost completed my 5 waktu…which never happened before…

All the prayers I cried at the 3rd rakaat…unvoluntarily…Ya Allah..if this year was that year of change which you  have written for me…I hope for the strength to go through your obstacles…Insya allah Amin…

Make dua for me to be a better muslimah not for myself but so that I could bimbing the boys to be better boys…to bring up my niece well and to be the motivator they could set as an example to move on and succeed in life….

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4 thoughts on “My Silent Prayer….

  1. Alhamdulillah. Allah have choosen you my dear. To feel what you feeling now and all those silent whispers in your heart is something not all people will feel it. The choosen one only. Be strong my dear because the road to hijrah may or may not be a smooth one but with doa’s Insyaallah, your journey will be filled with good deeds. Insyaallah. May Allah blessed you with all that is good. Amin. =)

    1. Insya allah…my heart will be cekal to move forward…mmg banyak cobaan and the temptations…insya allah i will continue this path..thank you sis for the motivation!

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